NEED SERIOUS HELP: I love my husband but he cannot please me sexually, Any Single Strong Guy To Hookup Me In Secret

I have been married for 13 years to a husband whom I love very much. We get along beautifully and we have four amazing children. Everything is fine except that he cannot please me in bed because he is really inadequate. I have even gone to my doctor and talked about it. The problem is that I have had four children in the past 6 years and my doctor has told me that I am naturally large and given my husband's size it is impossible for him to please me.

I don't hate my husband, God forbid, because God has created him this way. He is very kind and he decided to buy a sex toy (vibrator). We have been still having sex but he has also used the toy with me and as a result I have been pleased for the first time. I still do everything to please him and he is happy to use the vibrator to help me. We have been very happy with our sex but I was told by my friend that this is haram.

Since then I have written to many Islamic forums and fatwa websites and all the Islamic scholars told me that my husband needs to try harder and we need to seek a counselor. How can a counselor help me with my husband's issue. One Islamic scholar went as far as to suggest that I divorce my husband and find a man who can please me. This is ludicrous. And even if someone listened to his advice, what would I need to do to find the right husband and what if he is not adequate, But the point is that I don't even want to think about divorce,. I love my husband.

I feel that the Islamic scholars I have written to don't even read my email. My husband is too small and he cannot please me. He accepts this and we have found a solution that works for both of us. But I can understand why certain scholars are telling me not to do this. One in particular said that if we use a vibrator I might lose respect for my husband. So, the issue at hand with a lot of scholars is about men not losing their manhood. Where is the concern for the sister here.

All the scholars told me that I could use the vibrator to be stimulated but it can't be inserted. I am really curious from which hadith they got this. They cite the ayah that everything other than your wife and slave girls is transgression. Yet I can use the sex toy but I can't insert it.

I am really frustrated with the scholars who are incapable of offering advice on intimacy problems. The advice is always to seek counsel, pray more, tell my husband that he has to please me. The point is he can't and we have found a way that helps us. Before we started using a sex toy I couldn't focus on anything, even my prayer. Now, once the intimacy is over I can focus on Islam 100%. What is wrong with that?

I just need some proof in form of a hadith where the scholars are getting the info that using sex toys is ok but inserting them is not. Show me the hadith where they got this from?

Thank you so much for your help.